Today is the Sparks’ Day of Thankfulness-

16 years ago today, we had a 15 day old baby. She seemed perfect to us. She was thriving, she was getting chubby. She was just like a little baby doll we had brought home from the hospital!

She had the adventure of being in the NICU for about a week. But in the NICU she was still a healthy little baby. She had some things about her that puzzled the doctors and of course the geneticist. So of course they decided to run a few tests. Mainly ‘rule’ out certain things. So the doctors say to us, “Do not worry. We will have results in about a week.” The Geneticist says to us, “We are looking for ABC, ABCD, ABCDE, ABCDEF and ABCDEFG. But whatever you do, do NOT look it up on the internet.” So as parents we hear, “You will painfully wait to hear horrible news.” And “If you look this up on the internet you will know that your life is changed forever and the horror will about do you in!” So what do we do? We go to the ‘tree’ and eat the ‘fruit’. We get more knowledge and images in our head than we know what to do with. We plead for days, literally on our knees. I remember seeing knee prints in the carpet on the side of my bed every morning when I forced myself to get up. I had heard people talk about ‘falling to their knees in prayer for their children.’ I now was experiencing it in my life. I pleaded with the Lord on behalf of my baby, on behalf of myself and husband, but also on behalf of my other children. That was honestly the longest week of my life(it was about 2 weeks actually). I prayed so much, ‘Lord don’t let her have this or that. Lord show me what we will look like as a family if she has this.’

So the week went on. I was able to put a smile on my face. As people brought dinner and awed over my new baby, I was able to keep the anxiety hidden(I thought anyway).

So, then Friday comes. 4:50 has arrived and we still have not heard anything from our pediatrician who has become the messenger. I grabbed Chloe to go get Slurpies down the street. Just a little 5 year old girl, thrilled to have another little sister, she had no idea what was going to happen that day. And she has never forgotten. As we pulled up to 7/11, I looked at my phone. I needed to make sure it was on. Surely I had missed the call from the doctor. No luck. We walked in to get the Slurpies for Chloe and the 3 little ones. My mom was with everyone else at the house. All I could think was, at 5pm on Friday the doctor will go home and I will hear nothing until Monday! As we were walking out with a tray of drinks, my phone rings. It is the pediatrician. He tells me ALL the test results are negative. I hear ‘You painfully waited to hear wonderful news.’ And ‘You don’t have to live through the horrible images you saw on the internet and your life will not take this turn!” And all I could say was “PRAISE GOD!” In fact I screamed it! I looked at Chloe and said it over and over! She looked at me and said, “Do we need to pray?” I said, “Yes!” She had an amazing Kindergarten teacher that allowed and encouraged her class to pray on their knees. So she set the drinks down and got on her knees at 7/11. I followed suite. We prayed in thanksgiving for what the Lord had answered. Chloe didn’t know what it was all about. She just knew that it meant her baby sister was going to be ok.

I called my husband and mom and could barely talk. I got home and couldn’t stop crying and loving on our new baby.

What I learned that day, was that the Lord comes when He knows you need Him. I wanted Him to answer these questions earlier. I wanted to never have had to ask these questions. I wanted it all to happen then. But I would have missed my knees raw from kneeling in prayer for my family. I would have missed the rejoicing in a parking lot while people just stopped and stared. I would have missed the sweet sweet moment with Chloe as she, at 5 year old, lead me to the ground to humble ourselves in rejoice!

I also learned that although those prayers were answered, we still have obstacles ahead of us. That although my sweet 16 year old didn’t have ‘ABD ABCD ABCDE ABCDEF’ she still will be challenged in so many ways as she grows and learns. And when one person in your family is challenged, we all are. But I still KNOW that HE answered our prayers on that day.

My children(prayerfully) will most likely not have a shocking testimony of coming to Christ. They have been living in Christ and He in them since they were conceived. But what I pray they all, including my 16 year old will have, is the testimony of Him answering prayers. The testimony of knowing when we go to Him the answer is in Him. Knowing that without Him, we can do nothing. This gift of challenges and questions and joy in Savannah has made my other kids amazing people. This was His plan. He gave them the ability to show compassion, to love their friends. To show kindness. To include the peer who is different. To find joy in little accomplishments. To give grace to those around them. We have all learned from Savannah how important it is to fight for life, to fight for what is right and speak to what is wrong. To hold firm to integrity in ALL things, and hold ourselves and those around us to the standard we know Jesus has for each of us. We know at times we will fall short, but we also know we have to strive to be more Christ like and not give up. He has also used Savannah to show us the love and compassion in my kid’s friends and families as well as my own. Each of them love Savannah and are blessings to us daily.

So, ever since this day, in 2008, we have made a point to sit down and write a letter of thankfulness to someone in our lives that we are thankful for. The kids are precious in what they write and who they send it to. I usually help Savannah:) It is hard for me to narrow it down. I have about 100 letters I could write every year. And I will write mine today. But I realized who I am thankful for beyond words…

Jesus.

Thank you for your forgiveness when I doubt. Thank you for showing up, when I feel I cannot. Thank you for the amazing miracles you have given me in my life. Thank you for the perfect little baby you sent me 16 years ago and all the heartache, laughter and joy that has come alongside her.

Jesus, you are my person that I am thankful for on the Sparks’ Day of Thankfulness!

#specialneedsfamily

#cdlsawareness

#thankfulness

15th year of the Sparks' Day of Thankfulness - What are you thankful for?

 Today is the Sparks’ Day of Thankfulness-

15 years ago today, we had a 15 day old baby. She seemed perfect to us. She was thriving, she was getting chubby. She was just like a little baby doll we had brought home from the hospital! She had the adventure of being in the NICU for about a week. But in the NICU she was still a healthy little baby. She had some things about her that puzzled the doctors and of course the geneticist. So of course they decided to run a few tests. Mainly ‘rule’ out certain things. So the doctors say to us, “Do not worry. We will have results in about a week.” The Geneticist says to us, “We are looking for ABC, ABCD, ABCDE, ABCDEF and ABCDEFG. But whatever you do, do NOT look it up on the internet.” So as parents we hear, “You will painfully wait to hear horrible news.” And “If you look this up on the internet you will know that your life is changed forever and the horror will about do you in!” So what do we do? We go to the ‘tree’ and eat the ‘fruit’. We get more knowledge and images in our head than we know what to do with. We plead for days, literally on our knees. I remember seeing knee prints in the carpet on the side of my bed every morning when I forced myself to get up. I had heard people talk about ‘falling to their knees in prayer for their children.’ I now was experiencing it in my life. I pleaded with the Lord on behalf of my baby, on behalf of myself and husband, but also on behalf of my other children. That was honestly the longest week of my life(it was about 2 weeks actually). I prayed so much, ‘Lord don’t let her have this or that. Lord show me what we will look like as a family if she has this.’

So the week went on. I was able to put a smile on my face. As people brought dinner and awed over my new baby, I was able to keep the anxiety hidden(I thought anyway).

So, then Friday comes. 4:50 has arrived and we still have not heard anything from our pediatrician who has become the messenger. I grabbed Chloe to go get Slurpies down the street. Just a little 5 year old girl, thrilled to have another little sister, she had no idea what was going to happen that day. And she has never forgotten. As we pulled up to 7/11, I looked at my phone. I needed to make sure it was on. Surely I had missed the call from the doctor. No luck. We walked in to get the Slurpies for Chloe and the 3 little ones. My mom was with everyone else at the house. All I could think was, at 5pm on Friday the doctor will go home and I will hear nothing until Monday! As we were walking out with a tray of drinks, my phone rings. It is the pediatrician. He tells me ALL the test results are negative. I hear ‘You painfully waited to hear wonderful news.’ And ‘You don’t have to live through the horrible images you saw on the internet and your life will not take this turn!” And all I could say was “PRAISE GOD!” In fact I screamed it! I looked at Chloe and said it over and over! She looked at me and said, “Do we need to pray?” I said, “Yes!” She had an amazing Kindergarten teacher that allowed and encouraged her class to pray on their knees. So she set the drinks down and got on her knees at 7/11. I followed suite. We prayed in thanksgiving for what the Lord had answered. Chloe didn’t know what it was all about. She just knew that it meant her baby sister was going to be ok.

I called my husband and mom and could barely talk. I got home and couldn’t stop crying and loving on our new baby.

What I learned that day, was that the Lord comes when He knows you need Him. I wanted Him to answer these questions earlier. I wanted to never have had to ask these questions. I wanted it all to happen then. But I would have missed my knees raw from kneeling in prayer for my family. I would have missed the rejoicing in a parking lot while people just stopped and stared. I would have missed the sweet sweet moment with Chloe as she, at 5 year old, lead me to the ground to humble ourselves in rejoice!

I also learned that although those prayers were answered, we still have obstacles ahead of us. That although my sweet 14 year old didn’t have ‘ABD ABCD ABCDE ABCDEF’ she still will be challenged in so many ways as she grows and learns. And when one person in your family is challenged, we all are. But I still KNOW that HE answered our prayers on that day.

My children(prayerfully) will most likely not have a shocking testimony of coming to Christ. They have been living in Christ and He in them since they were conceived. But what I pray they all, including my 15 year old will have, is the testimony of Him answering prayers. The testimony of knowing when we go to Him the answer is in Him. Knowing that without Him, we can do nothing. This gift of challenges and questions and joy in Savannah has made my other kids amazing people. This was His plan. He gave them the ability to show compassion, to love their friends. To show kindness. To include the peer who is different. To find joy in little accomplishments. To give grace to those around them. We have all learned from Savannah how important it is to fight for life, to fight for what is right and speak to what is wrong. To hold firm to integrity in ALL things, and hold ourselves and those around us to the standard we know Jesus has for each of us. We know at times we will fall short, but we also know we have to strive to be more Christ like and not give up. He has also used Savannah to show us the love and compassion in my kid’s friends and families as well as my own. Each of them love Savannah and are blessings to us daily.

So, ever since this day, in 2008, we have made a point to sit down and write a letter of thankfulness to someone in our lives that we are thankful for. The kids are precious in what they write and who they send it to. I usually help Savannah:) It is hard for me to narrow it down. I have about 100 letters I could write every year. And I will write mine today. But I realized who I am thankful for beyond words…

Jesus.

Thank you for your forgiveness when I doubt. Thank you for showing up, when I feel I cannot. Thank you for the amazing miracles you have given me in my life. Thank you for the perfect little baby you sent me 15 years ago and all the heartache, laughter and joy that has come alongside her.

Jesus, you are my person that I am thankful for on the Sparks’ Day of Thankfulness!

#specialneedsfamily

#cdlsawareness

#thankfulness

Today is the Sparks’ Day of Thankfulness

11 years ago today, we had a 15 day old baby.  She seemed perfect to us.  She was thriving, she was getting chubby.  She was just like a little baby doll we had brought home from the hospital!  She had the adventure of being in the NICU for about a week.  But in the NICU she was still a healthy little baby.  She had some things about her that puzzled the doctors and of course the geneticist.  So of course they decided to run a few tests.  Mainly ‘rule’ out certain things.  So the doctors say to us, “Do not worry.  We will have results in about a week.”  The Geneticist says to us, “We are looking for ABC, ABCD, ABCDE, ABCDEF and ABCDEFG.  But whatever you do, do NOT look it up on the internet.”  So as parents we hear, “You will painfully wait to hear horrible news.” And “If you look this up on the internet you will know that your life is changed forever and the horror will about do you in!”  So what do we do?  We go to the ‘tree’ and eat the ‘fruit’.  We get more knowledge and images in our head then we know what to do with.  We plead for days, literally on our knees.  I remember seeing knee prints in the carpet on the side of my bed every morning when I forced myself to get up.  I had heard people talk about ‘falling to their knees in prayer for their children.’  I now was experiencing it in my life.  I pleaded with the Lord on behalf of my baby, on behalf of myself and husband, but also on behalf of my other children.  That was honestly the longest week of my life(it was about 2 weeks actually).  I prayed so much, ‘Lord don’t let her have this or that.    Lord show me what we will look like as a family if she has this.’   

So the week went on.  I was able to put a smile on my face.  As people brought dinner and awed over my new baby, I was able to keep the anxiety hidden(I thought anyway).

So, then Friday comes.  4:50 has arrived and we still have not heard anything from our pediatrician who has become the messenger.  I grabbed Chloe to go get Slurpies down the street.  Just a little 5 year old girl, thrilled to have another little sister, she had no idea what was going to happen that day.  And she has never forgotten.  As we pulled up to 7/11, I looked at my phone.  I needed to make sure it was on.  Surely I had missed the call from the doctor.  No luck.  We walked in to get the Slurpies for Chloe and the 3 little ones.  My mom was with everyone else at the house.  All I could think was, at 5pm on Friday the doctor will go home and I will hear nothing until Monday!  As we were walking out with a tray of drinks, my phone rings.  It is the pediatrician.  He tells me ALL the test results are negative.  I hear ‘You painfully waited to hear wonderful news.’ And ‘You don’t have to live through the horrible images you saw on the internet and your life will not take this turn!”  And all I could say was “PRAISE GOD!”  In fact I screamed it!  I looked at Chloe and said it over and over!  She looked at me and said, “Do we need to pray?”  I said, “Yes!”  She had an amazing Kindergarten teacher that allowed and encouraged her class to pray on their knees.  So she set the drinks down and got on her knees at 7/11.  I followed suite.  We prayed in thanksgiving for what the Lord had answered.  Chloe didn’t know what it was all about.  She just knew that it meant her baby sister was going to be ok. 

I called my husband and mom and could barely talk.  I got home and couldn’t stop crying and loving on our new baby.

What I learned that day, was that the Lord comes when He knows you need Him.  I wanted Him to answer these questions earlier.  I wanted to never have had to ask these questions.  I wanted it all to happen then.  But I would have missed my knees raw from kneeling in prayer for my family.  I would have missed the rejoicing in a parking lot while people just stopped and stared.  I would have missed the sweet sweet moment with Chloe as she, at 5 year old, lead me to the ground to humble ourselves in rejoice! 

I also learned that although those prayers were answered, we still have obstacles ahead of us.  That although my sweet 11 year old didn’t have ‘ABD ABCD ABCDE ABCDEF’ she still will be challenged in so many ways as she grows and learns.  And when one person in your family is challenged, we all are.  But I still KNOW that HE answered our prayers on that day. 

My children(prayerfully) will most likely not have a shocking testimony of coming to Christ.  They have been living in Christ and He in them since they were conceived. But what I pray they all, including my 10 year old will have, is the testimony of Him answering prayers.  The testimony of knowing when we go to Him the answer is in Him.  Knowing that without Him, we can do nothing. This gift of challenges and questions and joy in Savannah has made my other kids amazing people. This was His plan. He gave them the ability to show compassion, to love their friends.  To show kindness. To include the peer who is different. To find joy in little accomplishments. To give grace to those around them.  He has also used Savannah to show us the love and compassion in my kid’s friends and families as well as my own. Each of them love Savannah and are blessings to us daily.  

So, ever since this day, in 2008, we have made a point to sit down and write a letter of thankfulness to someone in our lives that we are thankful for.  The kids are precious in what they write and who they send it to.  I usually help Savannah:)  It is hard for me to narrow it down.  I have about 100 letters I could write every year.  And I will write  mine today. But I realized who I am thankful for beyond words… 

Jesus.

Thank you for your forgiveness when I doubt.  Thank you for showing up, when I feel I cannot.  Thank you for the amazing miracles you have given me in my life.  Thank you for the perfect little baby you sent me 11 years ago and all the heart ache, laughter and joy that has come alongside her.

  Jesus, you are my person that I am thankful for on the Sparks’ Day of Thankfulness!

Today is the Sparks’ Day of Thankfulness
10 years ago today, we had a 15 day old baby. She seemed perfect to us. She was thriving, she was getting chubby. She was just like a little baby doll we had brought home from the hospital! She had the adventure of being in the NICU for about a week. But in the NICU she was still a healthy little baby. She had some things about her that puzzled the doctors and of course the geneticist. So of course they decided to run a few tests. Mainly ‘rule’ out certain things. So the doctors say to us, “Do not worry. We will have results in about a week.” The Geneticist says to us, “We are looking for ABC, ABCD, ABCDE, ABCDEF and ABCDEFG. But whatever you do, do NOT look it up on the internet.” So as parents we hear, “You will painfully wait to hear horrible news.” And “If you look this up on the internet you will know that your life is changed forever and the horror will about do you in!” So what do we do? We go to the ‘tree’ and eat the ‘fruit’. We get more knowledge and images in our head then we know what to do with. We plead for days, literally on our knees. I remember seeing knee prints in the carpet on the side of my bed every morning when I forced myself to get up. I had heard people talk about ‘falling to their knees in prayer for their children.’ I now was experiencing it in my life. I pleaded with the Lord on behalf of my baby, on behalf of myself and husband, but also on behalf of my other children. That was honestly the longest week of my life(it was about 2 weeks actually). I prayed so much, ‘Lord don’t let her have this or that. Lord show me what we will look like as a family if she has this.’
So the week went on. I was able to put a smile on my face. As people brought dinner and awed over my new baby, I was able to keep the anxiety hidden(I thought anyway).
So, then Friday comes. 4:50 has arrived and we still have not heard anything from our pediatrician who has become the messenger. I grabbed Chloe to go get Slurpies down the street. Just a little 5 year old girl, thrilled to have another little sister, she had no idea what was going to happen that day. And she has never forgotten. As we pulled up to 7/11, I looked at my phone. I needed to make sure it was on. Surely I had missed the call from the doctor. No luck. We walked in to get the Slurpies for Chloe and the 3 little ones. My mom was with everyone else at the house. All I could think was, at 5pm on Friday the doctor will go home and I will hear nothing until Monday! As we were walking out with a tray of drinks, my phone rings. It is the pediatrician. He tells me ALL the test results are negative. I hear ‘You painfully waited to hear wonderful news.’ And ‘You don’t have to live through the horrible images you saw on the internet and your life will not take this turn!” And all I could say was “PRAISE GOD!” In fact I screamed it! I looked at Chloe and said it over and over! She looked at me and said, “Do we need to pray?” I said, “Yes!” She had an amazing Kindergarten teacher that allowed and encouraged her class to pray on their knees. So she set the drinks down and got on her knees at 7/11. I followed suite. We prayed in thanksgiving for what the Lord had answered. Chloe didn’t know what it was all about. She just knew that it meant her baby sister was going to be ok.
I called my husband and mom and could barely talk. I got home and couldn’t stop crying and loving on our new baby.
What I learned that day, was that the Lord comes when He knows you need Him. I wanted Him to answer these questions earlier. I wanted to never have had to ask these questions. I wanted it all to happen then. But I would have missed my knees raw from kneeling in prayer for my family. I would have missed the rejoicing in a parking lot while people just stopped and stared. I would have missed the sweet sweet moment with Chloe as she, at 5 year old, lead me to the ground to humble ourselves in rejoice!
I also learned that although those prayers were answered, we still have obstacles ahead of us. That although my sweet 10 year old didn’t have ‘ABD ABCD ABCDE ABCDEF’ she still will be challenged in so many ways as she grows and learns. And when one person in your family is challenged, we all are. But I still KNOW that HE answered our prayers on that day.
My children(prayerfully) will most likely not have a shocking testimony of coming to Christ. They have been living in Christ and He in them since they were conceived. But what I pray they all, including my 10 year old will have, is the testimony of Him answering prayers. The testimony of knowing when we go to Him the answer is in Him. Knowing that without Him, we can do nothing. This gift of challenges and questions and joy in Savannah has made my other kids amazing people. This was His plan. He gave them the ability to show compassion, to love their friends. To show kindness. To include the peer who is different. To find joy in little accomplishments. To give grace to those around them. He has also used Savannah to show us the love and compassion in my kid’s friends and families as well as my own. Each of them love Savannah and are blessings to us daily.
So, ever since this day, in 2008, we have made a point to sit down and write a letter of thankfulness to someone in our lives that we are thankful for. The kids are precious in what they write and who they send it to. I usually help Savannah:) It is hard for me to narrow it down. I have about 100 letters I could write every year. And I will write mine today. But I realized who I am thankful for beyond words…
Jesus.
Thank you for your forgiveness when I doubt. Thank you for showing up, when I feel I cannot. Thank you for the amazing miracles you have given me in my life. Thank you for the perfect little baby you sent me 10 years ago and all the heart ache, laughter and joy that has come alongside her.
Jesus, you are my person that I am thankful for on the Sparks’ Day of Thankfulness

Sparks Family Day of Thankfulness (a day late!)

Yesterday marks the 8th day of the Sparks' Family Day of Thankfulness.  Monday being Monday we didnt get to stop and really focus on who we are thankful for, but today we will sit down and do just that!  Please take a moment to read what and why this day is different then any other day to our family.  I hope it encourages you in some way! 

8  years ago yesterday(Oct 17th), we had a 15 day old baby. She seemed perfect to us.  She was thriving, she was getting chubby. She was just like a little baby doll we had brought home from the hospital! She had the adventure of being in the NICU for about a week. But in the NICU she was still a healthy little baby. She had some things about her that puzzled the doctors and of course the geneticist. So of course they decided to run a few tests. Mainly ‘rule’ out certain things. So the doctors say to us, “Do not worry. We will have results in about a week. The Geneticist says to us, “We are looking for ABC, ABCD, ABCDE, ABCDEF and ABCDEFG. But whatever you do, do NOT look it up on the internet. So as parents we hear, “You will painfully wait to hear horrible news.” And “If you look this up on the Internet you will know that your life is changed forever and the horror will about do you in!” So what do we do? We go to the ‘tree’ and eat the ‘fruit’. We get more knowledge and images in our head then we know what to do with. We plead for days, literally on our knees. I remember seeing knee prints in the carpet on the side of my bed every morning when I forced myself to get up. I had heard people talk about ‘falling to their knees in prayer for their children.’ I now was experiencing it in my life. I pleaded with the Lord on behalf of my baby, on behalf of myself and husband, but also on behalf of my other children. That was honestly the longest week of my life(it was about 2 weeks actually). I prayed so much, ‘Lord don’t let her have this or that.  Lord show me what we will look like as a family if she has this.’

So the week went on. I was able to put a smile on my face. As people brought dinner and awed over my new baby, I was able to keep the anxiety hidden(I thought anyway).

So, then Friday comes. 4:50 has arrived and we still have not heard anything from our pediatrician who has become the messenger. I grabbed Chloe to go get Slurpies down the street. Just a little 5 year old girl, thrilled to have another little sister, she had no idea what was going to happen that day. And she has never forgotten. As we pulled up to 7/11, I looked at my phone. I needed to make sure it was on. Surely I had missed the call from the doctor. No luck. We walked in to get the Slurpies for Chloe and the 3 little ones. My mom was with everyone else at the house. All I could think was, at 5pm on Friday the doctor will go home and I will hear nothing until Monday! As we were walking out with a tray of drinks, my phone rings. It is the pediatrician. He tells me ALL the test results are negative. I hear “You painfully waited to hear wonderful news.” And “You don’t have to live through the  images you saw on the internet and your life will not take this turn!” And all I could say was “PRAISE GOD!” In fact I screamed it! I looked at Chloe and said it over and over! She looked at me and said, “Do we need to pray?” I said, “Yes!” She had an amazing Kindergarten teacher that allowed and encouraged her class to pray on their knees. So she set the drinks down and got on her knees at 7/11. I followed suit. We prayed in thanksgiving for what the Lord had answered. Chloe didn't know what it was all about. She just knew that it meant her baby sister was going to be ok.  I called my husband and mom and could barely talk.  I got home and couldn't stop crying and loving on our new baby.

What I learned that day, was that the Lord comes when He knows you need Him. I wanted Him to answer these questions earlier. I wanted to never have had to ask these questions. I wanted it all to happen then. But I would have missed my knees raw from kneeling in prayer for my family. I would have missed the rejoicing in a parking lot while people just stopped and stared. I would have missed the sweet sweet moment with Chloe as she, a 5 year old, lead me to the ground to humble ourselves in rejoice!

I also learned that although those prayers were answered, we still have obstacles ahead of us. That although my sweet 8 year old didn't have ‘ABD ABCD ABCDE ABCDEF’ she still will be challenged in so many ways as she grows and learns. And when one person in your family is challenged, we all are. But I still KNOW that HE answered our prayers on that day.

My children(prayerfully) will most likely not have a shocking testimony of coming to Christ. They have been living in Christ and He in them since they were conceived. But what I pray they all, including my 8 year old will have, is the testimony of Him answering prayers. The testimony of knowing when we go to Him the answer is in Him. Knowing that without Him, we can do nothing.

So, ever since this day, in 2008, we have made a point to sit down and write a letter of thankfulness to someone in our lives that we are thankful for. The kids are precious in what they write and who they send it to. I usually help Savannah:) It is hard for me to narrow it down. I have about 100 letters I could write every year. But I realized who I am thankful for beyond words…JESUS.  Thank You for Your forgiveness when I doubt. Thank You for showing up, when I feel I cannot. Thank You for the amazing miracles you have given me in my life. Thank You for the perfect little baby you sent me 7 years ago and all the heart ache, laughter and joy that has come alongside her.

___________________________________________

Loving spending time with just daddy for the Daddy Daughter Dance.  She loves her daddy.

 For her birthday this year she got a vanity.  I cannot thing of anything more perfect for this girly girl!

 Blowing out her candle at her birthday party with family and friends from school.  What a blessing and so much fun!

 This.. this is a great example of why you NEVER put limitations on any child.  THIS was our biggest celebration this summer for Savannah!  THIS put many in tears of happiness.  THIS took a lot of work.  THIS is my lift girl.. that God designed perfect.. that accomplishes EVERYTHING in her own time!  THIS is a continuation of those answered prayers 8 years ago!

   

The Invitation

  When our kids are little, they tend to want to invite all their friends to their birthday party.  They throw in names that you have never heard of.  Possibly imaginary friends.  Those are the best, they are always available and they don't cost any money.  As they get older 2 factors come into play.  1 of course is money.  We cannot invite 20 people to a birthday every year.  Even when it is hot dogs and cupcakes topped off with jumping on the trampoline in our own backyard.  The other part is our kids starting to enjoy smaller groups of friends, at different times.  I have always encouraged my children that when they are invited to a party, that they should feel honored.  Most likely their friend was given a number of maybe 5 or 10 friends they could invite.  On the other hand, when they find out they have not been invited to a party, I also remind them that it doesn't mean that friend doesn't care about them.  I remind them that someone else being invited shouldn't make them sad or miserable.  They should be happy that person was extended an invitation.  We never know who might have been invited, and that was the only birthday party they were asked to go to all year.  The reality is, we all can at times have that feeling of 'why didn't they ask me?'.  I often struggle year after year with my own kids in this regard.  One year I got talked into inviting almost an entire grade, when my twins said "If we ask for donations for Uganda can we invite everyone?"  I mean, how do you say no to that?  And it was fantastic!  Then a few years later one of my kids came to me and said, "I really just want to have 3 people over for my birthday."  They knew how they loved that one on one time.  I suppose it is easy for me to remind them to be ok with not getting invited to something and rejoicing when they are, because they do get invited to parties.
   Then there is our littlest.  She is in a special education class for most of her day, and then integrates into a general education class for a couple of subjects.  Her school is precious to her and the students have the kindest hearts.  She is known by everyone (I am not sure if that is always for a good reason or not) and when I am with her we always hear kids shout out "Hi Savannah!"  She can't tell me their names, but I can tell in her smile and her eyes she knows they are her friends.  When she was younger, she too fell in that category of where we all got invited to little parties.  But once elementary school hit things changed.  For one, special education is so protected that it is hard to make connections with parents.  You don't get a class list and you are not volunteering in the classroom.  For a lot of these kiddos they are not able to tell you the names of the kids around them.  You are at the mercy of running into someone at pick up and maybe making a connection.  In general education class, your special education child is again protected so you cannot guarantee they are on lists that may go out to the parents.  It is one of those situation where the protection is for the betterment of your child.  However it feels sometimes like it leads to seclusion. 
  Fortunately for us we have made a precious connection a few years back with a sweet family in similar shoes to ours.  So I don't want anyone to think our littlest doesn't have any friends that we know well.  But, the invitations are slow to come.  And as a parent with 5 kids, I completely understand that.  In fact there are many parties that to be quite honest Savannah wouldn't enjoy or really understand.  So all of this is not to be taken as pity needed or upset.  It is more of a 'it is what it is'.  Last year we had 2 sweet invitations extended to us from her grade.  It was so kind and generous.  And to be honest Savannah didn't seem to react to the invitation.  However, my other children were thrilled for her.  They wouldn't stop talking about how she was invited to these parties.  She had a fun time and it was fantastic for me because I had a chance to meet some of the kids and parents.
  Well, here we are in April and she ended up with an invitation in her backpack.  I had not thought anything about parties until I opened it.  I realized this was the first one all year she had been invited to from school.  My heart was over joyed.  I didn't read it to her, but one of her sisters saw it and did.  Savannah got so excited.  She really understood what it was all about.  She had a blast.  She did everything everyone else did.  And she devoured the cupcake.  One little girl that always reaches out to Savannah was there.  I had the chance to watch Savannah actually go get her to do something with her at the party.  These little things are huge.  But what I loved was that I got to meet this little girl's father and let him know what a blessing his daughter is, and how grateful we are for her heart.  I also was able to thank the mom of the little birthday kiddo who invited us.  That little piece of paper was a precious extension of kindness and love.
  We cannot always ask everyone to everything.  Our kids also need to be able to just be and relax.  But when was the last time you extended an invitation?  When was the last time you asked someone to join you for lunch that maybe hasn't made a connection?  When was the last time you engaged with someone that looked a little alone in a public place with tons of people around?  Our kids are watching... they learn from us.... that invitation could be the first step of many to inviting them to walk with the Lord, just by seeing what you are doing....
   I know I need to extend more daily invitations....

I Will Meet You Where You Are

“I love you how you are. I love you designed the way you are. I love you exactly where you are in all you do and can do.”

Last night my girls, my book ends, participated in an amazing event where the over all theme is 'Every life matters.' The sanctity of life, from in the womb to a wise old great grandfather, equally matter in our world. I look at all 5 of my children, and all of their lives mean everything to me. And my book ends, well they represent such a bond, and yet such a distinctive difference in design and purpose.

You see, my oldest is who essentially created my title of being a mother, she is the one that set the standard for what I felt was needed of me in every way as a mom. She has done everything from rolling over, to walking, to talking, to even talking back “on time”. At 13, she has made motherhood, for me, what I expected and so much more. Then 5 years later when my 5^th baby was born, my other bookend, she changed everything. She showed me another extreme. She showed me all the things that motherhood is, that I did not expect. She challenged me in my faith as I prayed fervently for each milestone to be met, even if very very “late”. She has widened my role as a mother and all that it includes. She has forced me to search deeper in my faith for the strength and wisdom to be the mom I need to be for her, as well as my other 4 kids.

Both of these little girls of mine have such a unique design, as we all do. And the common bond I personally find in them daily, is how they make me a better mother. Although in such different ways.

Last night, my oldest, our cheerleader, was fortunate enough to have an opportunity to cheer at a game that would have players who also stretch across the idea of design like my book ends. They also invited some younger children to help cheer the teams on. My youngest, for the 2^nd year, was going to get to cheer at our “Special Friends” basketball game. The game of the year! The gym certainly filled past capacity. So many friends of ours, church and school, came to watch this event. Most of them with joyful tears in their eyes. And mainly tears due to watching kids with such different design and ability, come together and have the same bond over a sporting event. At this game, everyone is on the 'same playing field'. All those challenges, all those milestones are set aside as we all enjoy the life of each other.

Our sweet cheerleaders were so tender with the younger “special friends”. They helped them experience a wonderful night in the spotlight full of joy. There really are no words to explain it all, you really have to experience it in person.

My oldest sat on the 'side lines' last year and watched her sister be held by a cheerleader. She cheered a little, but was just soaking it all in. My oldest couldn't wait until this year because she would get to be with her. My book ends, my cheerleaders. I could tell from the moment we got there last night, that my littlest was unsure of it all. She is older now, and probably has more 'opinions' then she did last year. And that is a blessing! But last night it was just really too much. Multiple times we tried to get her cheering. We tried to even have her just sit with the cheerleaders and watch. It didn't last long and then she would be so upset.

I knew my oldest had seriously longed for this event. She wanted so badly for her to show the world(our little world) what her darling little sister could do. And at home she had done multiple cheers all afternoon. But that wasn't where she was at emotionally when we arrived at the game. She wasn't in a place she was comfortable. I could see the look on my oldest daughter's face. Concerned people might be staring at her sister. Upset that her sister wasn't enjoying the event. I walked over just about half time and suggested that after the half I take the littlest and my older daughter just finish the game with her friends. She was insistent that we try and let her do the 'half time' routine. As a mom, I knew this wasn't going to work out well. And the last thing I wanted for both of my girls was them in the middle of a basketball court with all eyes on them, and ciaos. But my oldest was beyond insistent, so I obliged. So, off the group of kids go to do the cheer. My littlest, she took about 4 steps on to the court and sat down. It was clear she wasn’t going to be with the “crowd.”   This first picture is our precious group of 7th and 8th grade cheerleaders, and our special friends cheerleaders.  It was far too much for my littlest. 

 I fully expected my oldest to give me the signal we came up with indicating, “Please come get her now”. And I didn't. What I saw was the sweetest moment. The moment that clearly says, “I love you how you are. I love you designed the way you are. I love you exactly where you are in all you do and can do.”

Afterward I gave the littlest cheerleader to my husband. I pulled my big cheerleader aside and explain to her that what she did right there, is what this event is about. She met her sister where she needed to be. She didn't try and push her into something that was more 'acceptable'. She didn't hide embarrassed because she wasn't following the crowd. She sat down with her. She helped her cheer. She showed her unconditional love for who she is, right now, right there.

I couldn't help but think about how Jesus meets us where we are. Whether it is a mess (like in Mark 2 when Jesus goes to the tax collector and sinners) or if it is because we are in need of healing in our faith or our health (Like in Matthew 9 where Jesus goes into the town to heal people), Jesus meets us. He doesn't tell us, you have to be as wise as me. He doesn't tell us, you have to come to the most glorious place on earth to praise my name and hear my voice. He meets us. He meets us where we are at, so He can lead us to where we should go.

I will never see these 2 book ends the same, ever again. One teaching us to stretch all limits in what we think we can do, and one who is so willing to just meet you where you are, to love you.

Who are you meeting where they are at, to show them the unconditional love of Jesus?