Today is the Sparks’ Day of Thankfulness

11 years ago today, we had a 15 day old baby.  She seemed perfect to us.  She was thriving, she was getting chubby.  She was just like a little baby doll we had brought home from the hospital!  She had the adventure of being in the NICU for about a week.  But in the NICU she was still a healthy little baby.  She had some things about her that puzzled the doctors and of course the geneticist.  So of course they decided to run a few tests.  Mainly ‘rule’ out certain things.  So the doctors say to us, “Do not worry.  We will have results in about a week.”  The Geneticist says to us, “We are looking for ABC, ABCD, ABCDE, ABCDEF and ABCDEFG.  But whatever you do, do NOT look it up on the internet.”  So as parents we hear, “You will painfully wait to hear horrible news.” And “If you look this up on the internet you will know that your life is changed forever and the horror will about do you in!”  So what do we do?  We go to the ‘tree’ and eat the ‘fruit’.  We get more knowledge and images in our head then we know what to do with.  We plead for days, literally on our knees.  I remember seeing knee prints in the carpet on the side of my bed every morning when I forced myself to get up.  I had heard people talk about ‘falling to their knees in prayer for their children.’  I now was experiencing it in my life.  I pleaded with the Lord on behalf of my baby, on behalf of myself and husband, but also on behalf of my other children.  That was honestly the longest week of my life(it was about 2 weeks actually).  I prayed so much, ‘Lord don’t let her have this or that.    Lord show me what we will look like as a family if she has this.’   

So the week went on.  I was able to put a smile on my face.  As people brought dinner and awed over my new baby, I was able to keep the anxiety hidden(I thought anyway).

So, then Friday comes.  4:50 has arrived and we still have not heard anything from our pediatrician who has become the messenger.  I grabbed Chloe to go get Slurpies down the street.  Just a little 5 year old girl, thrilled to have another little sister, she had no idea what was going to happen that day.  And she has never forgotten.  As we pulled up to 7/11, I looked at my phone.  I needed to make sure it was on.  Surely I had missed the call from the doctor.  No luck.  We walked in to get the Slurpies for Chloe and the 3 little ones.  My mom was with everyone else at the house.  All I could think was, at 5pm on Friday the doctor will go home and I will hear nothing until Monday!  As we were walking out with a tray of drinks, my phone rings.  It is the pediatrician.  He tells me ALL the test results are negative.  I hear ‘You painfully waited to hear wonderful news.’ And ‘You don’t have to live through the horrible images you saw on the internet and your life will not take this turn!”  And all I could say was “PRAISE GOD!”  In fact I screamed it!  I looked at Chloe and said it over and over!  She looked at me and said, “Do we need to pray?”  I said, “Yes!”  She had an amazing Kindergarten teacher that allowed and encouraged her class to pray on their knees.  So she set the drinks down and got on her knees at 7/11.  I followed suite.  We prayed in thanksgiving for what the Lord had answered.  Chloe didn’t know what it was all about.  She just knew that it meant her baby sister was going to be ok. 

I called my husband and mom and could barely talk.  I got home and couldn’t stop crying and loving on our new baby.

What I learned that day, was that the Lord comes when He knows you need Him.  I wanted Him to answer these questions earlier.  I wanted to never have had to ask these questions.  I wanted it all to happen then.  But I would have missed my knees raw from kneeling in prayer for my family.  I would have missed the rejoicing in a parking lot while people just stopped and stared.  I would have missed the sweet sweet moment with Chloe as she, at 5 year old, lead me to the ground to humble ourselves in rejoice! 

I also learned that although those prayers were answered, we still have obstacles ahead of us.  That although my sweet 11 year old didn’t have ‘ABD ABCD ABCDE ABCDEF’ she still will be challenged in so many ways as she grows and learns.  And when one person in your family is challenged, we all are.  But I still KNOW that HE answered our prayers on that day. 

My children(prayerfully) will most likely not have a shocking testimony of coming to Christ.  They have been living in Christ and He in them since they were conceived. But what I pray they all, including my 10 year old will have, is the testimony of Him answering prayers.  The testimony of knowing when we go to Him the answer is in Him.  Knowing that without Him, we can do nothing. This gift of challenges and questions and joy in Savannah has made my other kids amazing people. This was His plan. He gave them the ability to show compassion, to love their friends.  To show kindness. To include the peer who is different. To find joy in little accomplishments. To give grace to those around them.  He has also used Savannah to show us the love and compassion in my kid’s friends and families as well as my own. Each of them love Savannah and are blessings to us daily.  

So, ever since this day, in 2008, we have made a point to sit down and write a letter of thankfulness to someone in our lives that we are thankful for.  The kids are precious in what they write and who they send it to.  I usually help Savannah:)  It is hard for me to narrow it down.  I have about 100 letters I could write every year.  And I will write  mine today. But I realized who I am thankful for beyond words… 

Jesus.

Thank you for your forgiveness when I doubt.  Thank you for showing up, when I feel I cannot.  Thank you for the amazing miracles you have given me in my life.  Thank you for the perfect little baby you sent me 11 years ago and all the heart ache, laughter and joy that has come alongside her.

  Jesus, you are my person that I am thankful for on the Sparks’ Day of Thankfulness!